Even if you have a limits list already written up, start fresh.įirst, take out a piece of paper or open a blank document on your computer and list all the sexual and BDSM activities you can think of, including the ones you wouldn't choose for yourself. See what you can come up with on your own. Today I'd like you to get together your Yes/No/Maybe list. This list will give you a better view of your desires and limits than a premade list where you rank things by number, leaving you questioning if you really are kinky by the number of question marks you put down on things you don't know. It doesn't require you to look up terms you don't know or figure out if you'd be into something you've never heard of. This list is a living document and can be updated as you grow and develop your submission. The kind of list that I really like is the “Yes/No/Maybe” list.

If you list the things you enjoy or don't enjoy, you can easily share them with the person you want to play with or develop a power exchange dynamic to find out if you can build a scene or relationship that will satisfy both of your needs and desires. You can call them limit lists, negotiation lists, negotiation checklists, and many other names. Whether your checklist is long or short, it is not a measure of how kinky you are, so start where you are and build from there.īDSM checklists all live under different names. It is often a long, extensive list of likes and dislikes, things to try, and things to never do. Using a BDSM checklist is one of the better ways to explore not only what possibilities await you but also gives you a tool to use when talking to a potential play partner about what to do and the things you might enjoy.Ī BDSM checklist is an exploration tool developed by BDSM practitioners to help them organize their kinks, fetishes, and interesting activities and provide them with a negotiation tool for playing with others. Thankfully, you’ve decided to research what you might like and how much of a kink it is to you. Diving into the deep end of the pool is never recommended, but when it comes to BDSM, many people crave just that.

Kink limit checklist